I always felt I was missing something in my relationships. They always seemed incomplete.
I felt so jealous about D/s relationships. I saw local kink events and I just felt that they are places I want to be, among people who feel the same and are themselves. I was always to be stronger for other people due to responsible job, demanding my care and protection over others, decision taking and planning. But felt so weak for myself.
I suppose it makes sense. I once found this quote : "A submissive is a strong person, who needs someone stronger".
Well every time in a relationship I tried to indicate my nature to the partner, smuggling ideas that I thought can start something I was craving for so long. Now, from the time perspective I can say that I was wrong not talking openly about it.
When it finally appeared in my life I immediately felt happy, I felt complete. And luckily the BDSM I met (and still learning - as you can never stop to) was of the finest and pure form as I later learnt and appreciated.
Being a submissive has increased my self-confidence and my self-esteem. I feel free, I feel I learn life. I stand taller.
Having that in my life helps me being the best version of myself.